Today was a disaster. And it’s not even over. The plan was simple. Knowing that this Debbie woman has even loose connections with Asmodeus, then capturing her and interrogating her while I assume her life performing recon could bestow a plethora of information. Potentially enough to gain an upper hand.

My role was simple: switch bodies with the woman. That would simultaneously put her in the hands of my allies as well as allow me to begin assuming her life. I performed my task skillfully, albeit begrudgingly.

It’s not that I have anything against women, rather, I find them frivolous, burdensome and inconvenient. Being a male is not only familiar, but relatively low maintenance. Not only am I unskilled in most female physical upkeep (I’m capable of shaving, but such vast and contourous areas are annoying to deal with) but females are troublesome in their social upkeep’s as well. While I can handle falsifying the emotional queues subtly intertwined in their social interactions, I prefer the colder, logical mindset commonplace in males.

Oh, and the clothes! Why is the concept of loose, comfortable clothes lost on them? The social conditioning that led females to put themselves on such display, I suppose on my side is a plus, but on the other side its both horrifying and embarrassing.

Indeed, throughout my existence I’ve used the body of a woman more than once. Prior to today though, only 3 times. The first 2 were at the behest of the Guardians. I took no pleasure in the experience though. Not only were these people whose bodies I didn’t want, but bodies so different from my own that the experience was disorienting, uncomfortable, and bordering revolting. I’d rather not go into details… I’m happy that even though most of my self-image has degraded over the years, my gender and preference have retained. Being many people can make you forget who you really are.

So, even with my dislike of using a female vessel, why again would I resign myself to such a fate? The plan was that I’d switch with her, they’d interrogate her, and I would switch back, making the spell permanent via my newly crafted amulet.

Things didn’t go as planned. I assumed I had time to waste, so I stole the toothbrushes from “my” two kids (their bodies might make decent replacements in the future) before abandoning them to return to my body. On my way to Tome’s place I was horrified to see blood along the hall. Running now to the door, I banged on it and one let in I grilled my cohorts on the status of Debbie and my body. To my horror, it was beaten and bruised. I didn’t have time to play the part of raving woman as SWAT began banging on the door. We had little options, and I knew how this would look. The indian and stripper suggested a lesbian orgy might distract them. I blushed, envisioning the process (made easier by already seeing the stripper nude first-hand) and cursed my current body: both ill-equipped for what I wanted yet excited at the prospect.

My daydream was halted though as Crim came through with a potent invisibility spell kicking in right as the SWAT did the same. Slinking away under the cover of Crim’s spell, we met up at the bottom of the stairwell and decided to sort things out at Cassandra’s.

All I knew was that it looked like a kidnapping, with a hapless investigator left incapacitated at the scene, If I didn’t reclaim my body before Debbie comes to, I could be stuck with her body with my own jeopardized by a woman gone mad inside my skin.

I was filled with mixed emotions, mostly impotent rage with no one person except from blame: not even myself. I could only hope I could reclaim my body with no damage done.

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Schism of the Gods Among Men shaybryder